God speaks. He understands. He's set forth in motion all the things that we daily go through. And He is not just aware of them- He's interacting in the minute details. He gave us faith and opportunities to obey Him so that we can grow in faith and other fruit. He is so invested in our lives, to the man.
Yet, we don't act like it. We act like we can hide thoughts and even actions from one who is all knowing and always present. When we do come to Him, it's for the barest relief. What father, involved in his child's life, isn't heartbroken when they hide their feelings from them? He knows better than they do about the hurt of the world. And we shut the door on Him in His own house.
Some ways that we think we don't need prayer are: fear, arrogance, hurt, and unbelief. We fear the outside world more than we fear God. We arrogantly think that we can do life without Him. God hasn't helped us in our past hurts, in the way we wanted Him to. We are often in unbelieving territory when we are ignorant of God's true purpose in our lives, and rely on our own understanding. Unbelief also characterizes the other three.
There are also several pitfalls to those who do pray: fear, perceived needs, making promises, eloquence, etc.
Fear in prayer is very common. People often pray to ward off the unpleasant things in their lives, and to an extent, they should. We can hear people in the Church talk and pray about societal strain, familial strain, sickness, end times, and demonic activity. Yes, we should pray about these things and God wants to hear our prayers. But we can't live from fear, it's sinful. We can hear ourselves fearing when we spend more time thinking and talking about these things rather than God's will being done and His eternal glory in the Church.
One can also fear that their prayers will be ineffective because of the existence of doubt or distraction in their lives. It is true that we shouldn't doubt, and expect God to grant our request (James 1:5-7). However, it is also true that one can have doubt present, and still act in the faith that they do have (Mark 9:21-24). It exists, just as sin does, until we see His face. We do not expect our faith to not have flaws. Just as with our distractions, acknowledge them before God, and let that be the movement into communication. If we wait until we have no flaws or distractions, we will never pray. We'd deny God the whole of our hearts, and only present Him what we want Him to see.
Perceived needs are when we tell ourselves that something is essential to us, and it might not be. Else, it might be, but we only feel it and aren't informed by Scripture, so we aren't rooted in it. We can get distracted with our perception. Ours is tainted by sin, and if we don't suspect our motives rightly, then we will be moving in a direction different than the Holy Spirit's leading. So we can beg God for healing from sickness, and expect God to give us what we think we need in that healing. But if it turns chronic, our wrong beliefs will tempt us to think that God's not really faithful.
There are several examples of people making promises and trying to bargain with God in the Bible. Instead of acting on faith, Gideon tested God twice even though the angel of the Lord spoke directly with him (Judges 6:36-40). You shall not put Him to the test (Deuteronomy 6:16). Jephthah promised a sacrifice to God, and couldn't go back on it when it happened to be his only child- his virgin daughter (Judges 11:30-31, 34-40). Jesus and James say that we just shouldn't vow, because it comes from evil to think we have the capacity and foreknowledge to perform in the murky future- only God can (Matt. 5:34-37, James 4:13-17). If we make promises, God will hold us to what our mouth has spoken against us (Ecc. 5:4-6). Just say, "Your will be done."
Eloquence is something that we all struggle with. We may not pray in a group setting because we're embarrassed of how our words don't align with how we think it should be. That can also hinder our private prayer.
We see that Moses was afraid to speak God's words to Pharaoh because he stammered, he had a hard time getting his words in order in his mind (Ex. 4:10-12). Yet, God responded in-line with what Moses was saying. God understood perfectly. So in private, it's a matter of just saying what is on our heart, and letting God sort that out.
In public, however, it's wanting the praise of man. Fearing man more than God. The scribes and Pharisees in Jesus' day wanted to be seen by men with their prayers, and get honored in public places. Jesus condemns this (Matt. 23:2-8). Therefore, pray in a way that doesn't honor yourself, but God.
And do not use vain repetitions, or chants, in the hopes that God will be moved by our speeches. That we're somehow casting a spell that God has to answer (Matt. 6:5-8). When Jesus tells us how to pray in the following verses, He says, "like this," but not to necessarily use those exact words (Matt. 6:9-13).
Like this: acknowledge His authority and relation to us, His purpose in us and on this Earth, then what we need (but according to His perfect knowledge,) expectation of forgiveness on His terms as we follow His example towards others, and expectation that He will help in our weakness of sin. In some versions, it closes out with another acknowledgement and celebration of His power and right to rule.
Because God delights to hear our prayers and promises to sanctify us, even our pitfalls in prayer are under His forbearance. His intercession for us means that our badly intended prayers are reshaped in a way that God wants to answer the deep desire of our hearts. But although we get the thing that we really needed, because our hearts may not have changed from our evil perspective, we don't receive the full edification. We wouldn't appreciate what He's done and doing.
So to reap the full benefit of prayer, there are things we can do. We should pray strategically. Strategically praying does not include chanting or casting spells to force God to listen. We shouldn't approach Him blindly, throwing words at Him without purpose (Ecc. 5:2). But when we align ourselves to His will, when we delight in Him, our desires change. He will give us His heart, and delight to do what He Himself wants (Psalm 37:4-6). When we pray what He says, we know that He'll do it (John 15:7, 1 John 5:14-15).
All of this has to do with humility. We aren't ever going to be able to call ourselves humble, but we can walk in it. If we walk in pride, God will resist our prayers (James 4:6). He will not hearken to them (Psalm 66:18).
But we can also pour ourselves out to Him with seeming accusations (Ex. 5:22-23). If we're coming towards Him with expectation of help and the understanding that what we're saying isn't precisely His heart for us, then we're free to engage with Him in this way (Psalm 22:1-5). Jesus drew attention to this on the cross (Matt. 27:46). This is how He felt, and drawing attention to the scripture tells us that His feeling and cry was informed by God's track record of taking care of His people. The Spirit also hears our non verbal groaning (Rom. 8:22-23, 26-27). Job 3 did not confound God, and we are free to pray this in solid hope of His deliverance.
Praying for judgement against others is also allowed. There are psalms called imprecatory psalms, meaning judgement. These kinds of statements and pleas are found elsewhere in Scripture, like 1 Corinthians 16:22- "If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha." Anathema means "accursed." Maranatha means, "God's coming." This acknowledges the sinfulness of Man, but also the truth that God has the right to vengeance, and will enact it in His timing. However, like accusations of God, accusations of Man have to be tempered. We cannot rejoice over them, as if ours is the victory that matters (Prov. 24:17-20). Our imprecatory prayers are meant for catharsis, to get it off our chest and into the active hands of the Lord.
Speaking in tongues is quite rare in our Christian societies. But just as with prophecy (limited,) I believe it has use even today. Its use is revealing God's Good News to someone of another language. Some understood it, some didn't (Acts 2:8-13, 1 Cor. 14:2, 23). Paul warns that, towards others, if not readily understood it should be with an interpreter (1 Cor. 14:27-28). But he can pray in private to God, and be edified (1 Cor. 14:4). Do not forbid it (1 Cor. 14:39).
Singing, dancing, and playing music were often in the Bible as prayerful. David did so when the Ark of the Covenant came into Jerusalem (2 Sam. 6:14-15). Let none sneer, as did Michal, at those who would engage in praise this way (2 Sam. 6:16, 20-23). Yet, be encouraged to do this with clear understanding of the hope within us, not to just be wild and spiritual (1 Cor. 14:14-15). Let us surround ourselves with good doctrine, such as singing songs based on the psalms.
Posture is something of preference, but our strategic posture can influence our prayer. Lifting up the hands is a posture of receptiveness, that we're reaching out in need, and expecting to receive (Psalm 28:2). Bowing the knees is a sign of submission to His authority (Phil. 2:9-11). Looking down and closing the eyes makes it more intimate, denying distractions (Luke 18:13). It is not proper that men should have their heads covered with hats or long hair while they pray, but women should be while they pray. Although, this isn't a custom we enforce (1 Cor. 11:13-16). Tearing of clothes, wearing sackcloth, and casting dust upon one's head were gestures of anger or sorrow (Joshua 7:6). All of this is useful. But God looks on the heart- posturing helps us align our inner man, it doesn't impress the Lord. Rend your heart, not specifically your garment (Joel 2:12-13).
Fasting is spoken of by Jesus as an expectation, nearly an afterthought that we currently engage in it (Matt. 6:16-18). We do this to become hungry for God. We then see how deprivation of food can expose idolatry in our lives: we see what we crave. We ask God to fill us, and to become content with less. This should create a pattern of dependence in doing so regularly. Daniel and Moses also did this in expectation of God to reveal Himself to them and grant their requests (Daniel 9:3, 20-23, Deut. 9:8-19).
Our words and thoughts towards others are important to God. He created us to be relational, like He is in Himself. Jesus said that if we're angry with another without a good reason, we're guilty of murder. Also, if our brother has something against us, God thinks of our reconciliation a greater priority than worship (Matt. 5:21-24). If we're not honoring our wife, our prayers are hindered (1 Peter 3:7). The children of Israel fasted, yet didn't loose those in captivity, feed the hungry, or clothe the naked and complained that God didn't take knowledge of them (Isa. 58:3-7). He considers our treatment of others as our treatment of Him (Matt. 25:33-46). Again, if we cherish dishonoring Him, He won't hearken to our prayers (Isa. 59:2-4).
Learn to say these things often: "Thank you for" and "I need you." We should come to Him with dependency and expectation for His will to be done. While fear may drive someone to pray constantly, the amount of time spent praying isn't the goal. Start with quality time. Quality time means appreciating and walking confident in God- this is a quality that lasts. Happiness happens when our circumstances meet the expectation that God's good pleasure for us be done.
Praise you the Lord!
Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power!
Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness!
Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp!
Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs!
Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals!
Let every thing that has breath praise the Lord. Praise you the Lord!
Psalm 150