“Fuck!” Zandrue threw the Pearl down, and it bounced and rolled along the library floor. “Why the fuck can’t I get this gods-damned fucking thing to work?” She held up the piece of canvas Sinitïa had painted the three colours on. “I’ve got the fucking colours right in front of me. How the fuck can I not imagine them when I’m looking right at them?”

“Perhaps you need to be calmer,” Mikranasta said.

Zandrue kicked one of the chairs, which slammed against the table. “I was calm at the beginning and it didn’t fucking work then either.”

Felitïa put a hand on Zandrue’s shoulder, and recoiled as Zandrue rounded on her. She reached out again and touched Zandrue’s arm. This time, Zandrue pulled her arm back, clenching her fingers. She shivered a moment, and then screamed a scream that sounded a little like a roar.

Felitïa took a deep breath. This was one time she was glad of the shield’s presence. Zandrue’s anger was a terrible thing to share. “You’ll figure it out. It’s a new way of thinking you’re not used to. I’m not sure I’d have known how to do it if I hadn’t seen Sinitïa do it.”

Zandrue kicked the same chair aside, then leaned against the table, breathing heavily.

Felitïa gave her a moment.

“Sorry,” Zandrue said eventually.

“It’s all right. I understand your frustration.”

“I didn’t damage the Pearl, did I?”

Felitïa walked over and scooped up the Pearl from where it had come to rest. By some coincidence, it had landed almost directly under the spot in the wall where it had lodged earlier. Corvinian had tried to use it, and it had somehow triggered his defensive powers. The blue energy had thrown the Pearl across the room with far more force than Zandrue had used.

She turned the Pearl over in her palm, confirming it looked the same as it always had. “I suspect it takes a lot more to damage this.” She then placed the Pearl back in its pouch, which she had taken to wearing on a string around her neck, now that she had taken full custody of it from Agernon.

“I just…” Zandrue started.

“I know.” Felitïa headed back over to the table, righted the chair Zandrue had knocked over, and sat down. She patted the chair beside her.

With a sigh, Zandrue sat there.

“Everything’s going to work out,” Felitïa said.

Zandrue scoffed. “You don’t know that.”

“No, I don’t, but really, what else do you expect me to say? We’re all doomed?”

Zandrue chuckled. “No, I suppose not.”

“And I can say that you’ll figure the Pearl out eventually. You’re not the only one who’s had difficulty. It took Agernon a while, and Meleng is still trying to figure it out.”

With a groan, Zandrue laid her head on the table. “I know.”

Jorvan and Feviona had successfully used the Pearl on their first try, but they were the only ones to have had such an easy time. Akna had taken several tries, and Agernon had taken almost a whole day. And of course, there had been the situation with Corvinian. He only tried the once, and then refused to try again. Felitïa couldn’t blame him.

No one else had tried yet, though Felitïa had received requests from several people at the Hall of Knowledge, including Angelida, though not Ezmelda or Pedrin. Agernon, however, argued that they shouldn’t pass the Pearl around too much, and Felitïa agreed. Unfortunately, she hadn’t figured out how to say no diplomatically, and so had simply not answered them yet. She’d need to do so soon though.

There was so much she needed to do.

Zandrue rubbed her head in her hands. “I suppose I should take a break, get some rest, try again tomorrow. I just wish…”

“I’m sure with some rest, you’ll do better. You’re just stressed. We all are. It’s causing all of us to be a little off.”

“You mean like not telling me you asked Mikranasta to investigate Bandren’s disappearance?”

Felitïa groaned. “I already apologised for that.”

Zandrue laughed. “I know, and it’s fine. I just can’t pass up a chance to tease.”

Felitïa groaned again. It had been a weird thing for her to do. She had completely forgotten to tell Zandrue, Jorvan, or anyone else about it. What she still hadn’t told them was that she had completely forgotten she’d even done it until Jorvan asked her about it a few days ago. Even now, the memory of asking Mikranasta was more like the memory of a dream. It was almost like when she had been under Plavistalorik’s influence and heavily sleep-deprived, saying and doing things she barely remembered now. She was probably still not getting enough sleep. That had to be it. She was staying up too late every night.

“You okay?” Zandrue asked.

Felitïa nodded and smiled. “Yeah.”

“Can I try one more time?”

“You really should sleep.”

“I will, after I try one more time.” Zandrue reached out and gave a light tug on the pouch holding the Pearl. “Please?”

Rolling her eyes, Felitïa snatched the pouch back from Zandrue. “Okay, but no temper tantrums if it doesn’t work, yes?”

Zandrue nodded. “No temper tantrums.”

Felitïa shook the Pearl into her hand, and then handed it to Zandrue. They both stood up, facing each other.

Zandrue frowned. “What did I do with the canvas?”

Felitïa shrugged. “No idea.”

“It’s over there,” Mikranasta said, pointing to a spot on the floor.

With a chuckle, Zandrue hurried over and scooped up the canvas, then returned to face Felitïa. “No hitching a ride in my head, right?”

“Don’t worry, the shield will keep me out. Besides, you need to do this on your own.” Felitïa took Zandrue’s hand—the one with the Pearl—and wrapped both her hands around it. “I’m just moral support.”

Zandrue smiled and held up the canvas with her other hand.

“Take a good look, but then close your eyes and try to picture those colours in your head.” As she directed Zandrue, Felitïa let the colours form in her own head, right in the centre of the Room. There was no real point for doing it. It just happened automatically, almost like she was vicariously experiencing what Zandrue should be doing.

“Got it,” Zandrue said.

“Now, envision where you want to go.”

Zandrue had been trying to go to her room in the palace. Felitïa had not actually been there often and didn’t know it well, so her own bedroom form in her head instead.

There was a familiar flash in her head, and the library vanished to be replaced by her bedroom.

Not Zandrue’s. Her own.

“It worked?” Zandrue said, stepping back and pulling her hand free. “I did it! I don’t believe it, I did it!”

Zandrue’s excitement flooded the Room, and Felitïa almost fell into Zandrue’s presence—and thus her head—which was also there now. The shield, not surprisingly, was gone. She rushed the diamond walls in front of Zandrue’s presence, keeping her out—at least for now.

Zandrue was practically jumping up and down, but she abruptly stopped, her excitement vanishing. “Wait a moment. This is your room, not mine. What the hell?” Anger started to rise in the Room.

Felitïa grimaced. “Sorry, Zandrue. I don’t think it was you. It was me.”

“Fuck. Figures.” Zandrue clutched her hands in front of her, crumpling the canvas. She took a deep breath. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to lose my temper. I hope.”

“Please don’t,” Felitïa said. “Don’t you realise what this means?”

Zandrue stared at her a moment, her eyes widening and her mouth slowly forming a smile. Her excitement started to return. “You mean…?”

“I think I just figured out how to bring someone else along. Let’s find out. Take my hand, but hold the Pearl in your other hand.”

Zandrue took Felitïa’s right hand in her left, while holding up the Pearl in her right. “What do I do next?”

“Nothing. If I’m right, it’s all me. Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be. I hope this works.”

“Me too.” Felitïa took a deep breath, reflexively tightening her grip on Zandrue’s hand as she did so. In the Room, she formed an image of the three colours, then an image of the library with its large table, multiple chairs, and one small shelf of books.

Once again, there was a flash in her head, and they were back in the library.

By the wall, Mikranasta cocked her head. “Interesting.”

Felitïa let go of Zandrue’s hand as the shield reformed around her mind. “I’m sorry, Mikranasta. It was an accident.”

Mikranasta bowed her head. “I took it as such. I take it you have discovered how to take two people with the Pearl?”

Felitïa grinned. “Looks like it.”

“This is incredible,” Zandrue said, pacing excitedly about. “We can go to Arnor City now. Find Rudiger. We have to go as soon as possible. Tomorrow. Tonight preferably.”

“Calm down,” Felitïa said. “We’ll go. Or rather, I will. Unless we spontaneously discover how to take three people, we have to bring Rudiger back, which means only one person can go.”

“There’s Borisin, too, don’t forget, and maybe Quilla. You’ll have to make multiple trips anyway, so what’s one more taking me along?” Zandrue leaned against the table and grinned.

“Fair point, though I still think I should go alone. I can stay hidden. Last place we know Rudiger was, was the Palace. We can’t just wander around in the open there.”

“You can hide me too.”

“It makes things more difficult.”

Zandrue straightened up. “I don’t give a damn. I’m going.”

Mikranasta cleared her throat loudly.

Zandrue rounded on her. “What?”

“Apologies for intruding, Will-Breaker, but you cannot go. You are not ready. The shield—”

“I’m doing better and better without the shield,” Felitïa said.

“Yes, for short periods of time. You are not ready for longer periods yet, and there is no telling how long this journey will last.”

“I can do it, Mikranasta.”

Mikranasta shook her head. “No, this is your recklessness speaking, and you know it.”

Gods damn it, she was tired of this fucking shield. But maybe Mikranasta was right. “Why don’t I take you with me then?”

“I cannot stay awake indefinitely. Neither can Hedromornasta. Let Jorvanultumn go. He can take Zandromeda Armida with him if she wishes to go too.”

“Jorvan can’t hide himself from view. He’ll stand out at the Palace. It has to be me. Besides, Jorvan hasn’t spent a lot of time at the palace. He might not remember it well enough to travel there.”

“You won’t know that until he tries,” Mikranasta said.

“It has to be me,” Felitïa repeated.

Mikranasta shook her head. “Send someone else, or wait until you are ready. But I will not allow you to go now.”

There was a crash as several chairs toppled over. Zandrue had shoved the table in Mikranasta’s direction. It hadn’t moved far—it was too heavy for that—and it hadn’t come close to hitting the Isyar, but it did seem to have startled Mikranasta, whose gaze turned sharply to Zandrue.

“You aren’t seriously being like this!” Zandrue leapt onto the table, slid across it, and jumped off the other side. “We’re talking about Rudiger’s life here, you stupid bitch!” Fist raised, she lunged at Mikranasta.

And stopped.

Zandrue stood there, fist still raised, her arm trembling ever so slightly.

Mikranasta merely stared at Zandrue, her head tilted slightly.

Through gritted teeth, Zandrue said, “Get out of my head.”

Mikranasta continued to stare.

Felitïa hurried around the table, and up to Zandrue, standing between her and Mikranasta. “Zandrue, it’s going to be okay. We will go after Rudiger.” She glanced back at Mikranasta. “Mikranasta, please let her go.”

Mikranasta walked up beside Zandrue and looked her over. Zandrue’s eyes turned to watch the Isyar, and her body continued to tremble. Then Mikranasta walked around the table and across the room.

Then Zandrue fell forward, her fist still propelling forward, and hitting Felitïa in the chest. Felitïa stumbled backwards, winded and gasping for breath. Zandrue righted herself, and spun round with a scream, but Felitïa grabbed her arms, tried to hold her back.

“Zandrue, please,” she tried to say, but it came out as little more than a croak.

Zandrue struggled a little, but it was only feeble, and Felitïa was able to hold her back.

“If you ever raise your hand against me again,” Mikranasta said, “I will not be so kind. Will-Breaker, get your friend under control. I will wait in the hall.” Then she turned and walked out of the library.

Felitïa let go of Zandrue, who rounded on her. “How can you let her dictate so much? She’s not in charge here.”

“Zandrue, please.” Felitïa backed against the wall as Zandrue pressed closer.

“Don’t you dare fucking tell me we’re not going after Rudiger, that you’re going to fucking wait!” Zandrue slammed her fist into the wall, rattling several paintings.

Felitïa took a deep breath and looked Zandrue in the eyes. “Zandrue, please trust me.”

They stared at one another for several moments, tears forming in Zandrue’s eyes. Finally, Zandrue stepped back. “I do trust you.” She turned away, and approached the table. All the tenseness in her seemed to vanish as she leaned against it and practically collapsed. She let out a wail.

Felitïa came up behind her, put her arm around her, and pulled her in close, held her against her chest and gently rocked her. “Come meet me in my room first thing tomorrow morning. Bring whatever you think you’ll need. I’ll tell Mikranasta you’ve agreed to go with me to the Hall of Knowledge to talk to Agernon and Ezmelda about who should go with you to Arnor City.”

Zandrue straightened herself, wiping tears from her eyes. A small trickle of blood ran down the side of her forehead from where one of her horns was momentarily visible through her hair before retracting again. “And we’ll…”

Felitïa reached out and wiped the blood away with her finger. “We’ll go to Arnor City, you and me. We’ll find Rudiger.”

Zandrue sniffled through a chuckle. “Are you sure we can get away without her stopping us?”

“Her? No. But Hedromornasta? Yes. We just have to wait for the right moment.”

Zandrue grinned. “You’re going to make her very angry.”

Felitïa smiled back. “Probably, but let’s not talk any more about it. She’s in the hall, but I don’t want to take too many chances of her overhearing us.”

With another chuckle, Zandrue nodded. “Fair.” She looked around the room. “I made a bit of a mess, didn’t I?”

Felitïa nodded several times slowly. “You certainly did, and I think you should probably clean it up.”

“Oh come on, that’s what servants—”

“It’s not that much. It won’t take you long, but it will give Mikranasta and I time to get far enough away that you won’t see her when you leave.”

“I can go out the opposite door.”

Felitïa laughed. “Just clean your mess, Zandrue.”

Zandrue rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll clean it up.”

They hugged, holding each other tight for a short while.

“See you tomorrow,” Zandrue said once they’d parted and Felitïa was heading for the door.

“See you tomorrow,” Felitïa said.

Mikranasta fell in behind her as she headed for her room. I take it you have resolved the situation?

Yes, Felitïa said. Tomorrow, we’re going to find someone at the Hall of Knowledge who can go with Zandrue. You’re right. I’m not ready yet.

I’m glad you’ve seen sense. Zandromeda Armida, on the other hand…

She’s just worried about Rudiger.

I understand. If it was my fomase, I would be equally worried, but I would also not take foolish risks. I am not trying to stop her or anyone else from going after Rudiger Fonivan. However, if you were to do it, it would simply put him at even more risk. This is what she does not understand.

I know. I’ve tried to make that clear to her, and she’s agreed. It will all work out.

I hope so. If I may be frank, Will-Breaker? She didn’t wait for Felitïa to respond. Zandromeda Armida is a very volatile woman. I think the trust you have in her is misplaced.

Felitïa stopped and turned to face Mikranasta. Zandrue is my oldest and dearest friend. I trust her more than anyone in the world, and that includes you. She spun around again and continued on to her room.

That is what I am afraid of, Mikranasta said.

Back in her room, with Mikranasta out in the hall, Felitïa lay on her back in her bed. Lon climbed onto her forehead and looked down into her eye. She grinned. “What?”

The rat just stared at her for another moment before clambering over her nose and jumping onto her chest, where he curled up. Nesh scurried over her shoulder to join him.

Gently stroking their heads, she lay there, staring at the ceiling. This feud between Zandrue and Mikranasta was becoming a problem. It would become worse tomorrow. Of course, there was a good chance Mikranasta would just leave. That was what she had threatened to do previously.

But that could cause problems with Jorvan, who was obviously close with his mother.

Zandrue’s issues with Mikranasta were extreme, but understandable at their base. Felitïa even shared some of them. Mikranasta could be...frustrating to put it lightly. But she was also the more knowledgeable and experienced, and she was almost certainly correct about Felitïa’s level of control of her abilities.

Felitïa sighed and picked up Nesh, bringing him close to her face, where she made chittering noises at him.

She had been making great progress with gaining control of her abilities. Even Mikranasta agreed with that. But there was still a long way to go. She couldn’t deny that. Was she putting Rudiger at more risk by going after him? The glimpses she got of him in the Room showed that he was doing well. Not only was he alive, but his leg was almost healed. He was taking care of himself.

Perhaps she should wait. Or get someone else to go. If Jorvan went, he could…

No. Zandrue wanted her to go, and she wasn’t going to deny her.

She put Nesh down, gave Lon another gentle stroke, then closed her eyes to sleep.

To hell with Mikranasta. It was time to gain her independence, whether she was ready or not.