I awoke to shaking. It took a moment to realize I wasn’t trembling, but Scott carrying me down a lighted stone passageway. In front and behind, military soldiers with guns looked around for any signs of danger. No one spoke; I didn’t need a reminder to stay quiet. I pressed my head to his chest and listened to his breaths.
At the end of the earthen corridor, I discovered a small cavern. Scott shuffled me around as he sat down, keeping me on his lap. A soldier sat on either side of us. I peeked around, watching for creatures to claw their way to us, but silence engulfed us. We sat in a mining cart of some kind. It jerked forward on its own. It went at a fast clip, but Scott held me close, looking around anytime we slowed near an outcrop of boulders or turn.
My legs distracted me from enjoying the warm air on my cheeks. Someone wrapped my legs in bandages with thick socks over them like a makeshift cast. The longer I stared down, the more it itched. Like driving me crazy hurt kind of itch. I tried moving my hands from my lap. I needed to scratch. Scott’s hands covered mine to keep me still. He shook his head. I tried not to whimper, but the sound snuck out. I noticed the guy on our left smirked at me. What on Earth could be amusing? I frowned back.
The cart rolled deep into the passage for what felt like the entire day. The standing sentries raised two umbrellas over us just before we went under a cascade of sparkling water. Everyone ended up soaked except me. The box lurched to a stop.
Dr. Frost stood waiting with people I didn’t recognize. They were all sharply dressed in coats or military uniforms; they stopped talking once we approached. Dr. Frost’s eyes scrunched in worry. She wore her white doctor’s coat which somehow still remained clean.
“How much time do we have, Dr. Frost?” Scott asked.
“Five minutes max, Nurse Curcuma. Do you need someone else to carry her?” The doctor asked. She looked at him with concern.
“She’s light as a feather.” He looked at me. “Ready?”
I nodded.
He shifted me into his arms again. He made his way to the platform near the group; the two GIs joined us. Dr. Frost looked at her watch as if late for a meeting. When she looked up, she smiled at us. Scott walked next to the doctor; everyone else followed.
Like Scott’s heartbeat, the passing lamps hypnotized me in a steady rhythm. Their fast pace slid to a stop. I wanted to look around. Danger could be all around, and I wouldn’t know it. I tried not to notice my rising blood pressure.
Would a beast appear? Where were we going?
Click. A lock unlatched. The military folks did not follow. One of them said, “Good luck, Doctor.” Dr. Frost smiled and nodded.
Quick and quiet, the smaller party walked into the next hallway. The door slammed shut where we found another stale tunnel. Thanks to the door, my eyelids grew heavy. I began to fall asleep again, though I didn’t want to. The last thing I remember, Dr. Frost’s said, “We need to be on the other side of the mountain before nightfall.” She looked at me. “She’s a fighter. Even battling sleep itself. “Scott adjusted and held me tighter. I’m good at sleeping; the only thing I can do right. I allowed myself to rest a moment.
I woke up to a caress on my cheek. “Good afternoon, Sunshine.” Scott’s voice oozed sarcasm. I groaned, realizing my location on his lap again. He smiled at me.
I rolled my eyes.
“I could always call you Patient 44.”
I shook my head.
“Well, until we get a name, Sunshine, it is.”
I tried to look around, but my leaden head wouldn’t move. Our group stood in another small dark cave with a small waterfall spilling into a lake. The water shimmered a light blue with tiny lights swimming. In the doorway, I saw a small group of people with their backs to us out of the corner of my eye. These were not the same people, as they were dressed differently in all black. The air in the grotto squeezed my chest, distracting me from the view. The air grew hot and heavy; I kept my breathing to short, shallow staccato intakes.
Scott offered a straw to me. I sipped. I scowled, thinking the contents held water. Instead, sweetness danced on my tongue. However, the aftertaste grated like sand grit as the liquid ran down my throat. I coughed, then stole a few more gulps. I needed the energy.
He chuckled before his smile flattened. “I’m going to ask you a crucial question. Unfortunately, we don’t have much time to discuss everything, so I will be rather blunt. Doc says you are probably paralyzed from the waist down. There’s no standard treatment that wouldn’t take years, and we don’t have the time, especially now.”
Not believing him, I tried moving my legs. I grunted as I used all my mental power to try to move even a toe. When the realization hit, I silently wept, a skill I mastered. I couldn’t believe I might never walk again. I would be a sitting duck for those- monsters.
Would I turn into one of those things? Was I here so they could shoot me? Burn my body? Bury me, so I didn’t injure someone else? Is this my final resting place? Is he going to sit here while I am euthanized?
Scott gave me a small smile. “Now, no crazy thoughts. I see your mind is cooking up something insane. I’m going to tell you a secret. You can’t tell anyone. The tribe I grew up in protects this sacred pool loosely translated to Pandora. Most of us kids never knew it existed. We figured Lake Pandora was just a place in the stories of our Ancestors. It is said in our time of need, the worthy will be blessed by the Goddess.” He pursed his lips. “If you choose, I can do an unorthodox treatment- an immersion in our holy water. If the Goddess blesses you, hopefully, you will be healed, or at the very least, no different.” His eyes told me he held something back. His thumb made small circles on my hand. “If the Goddess rejects you, you will become sicker than you already are, and you won’t leave this mountain.”
I gasped. My mind raced, jumbling together in nonsense. Still stuck on the fact I couldn’t move my legs, I tried moving them again, and nothing. New tears raced down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry to press you, but the story repeatedly warns that you must make a decision before sunset on a full moon. Once the order was given to take you out of the base, we headed straight here. I must encourage haste, if you aren’t in the water in twenty minutes, everyone will need to be out of this area, or they will become mentally unstable.”
I nodded. My tears stopped, and my heart pounded in my chest. Would this actually help? It sounded like bullshittery.
“Consent is important, so I’m going to ask you a question. If your answer is yes, tap my hand twice. If your answer is no, tap once. Do you understand?”
My thumb weighed like a bag of rocks, but I managed two taps. Did I really have a choice here, though?
He smiled. “Good girl. I can’t imagine... I’m sorry for putting you through this, but you fought so hard. Your body has given up, but your mind is still fighting. You are so strong.”
I tapped once. I was NOT strong.
“Sunshine, do you consent to the holy baptism in Lake Pandora?”
I tapped two times. What did I have to lose? I would do anything to not turn into one of those things. Not that I thought a dip in a pool of water would actually do anything, but Scott seemed to really believe. I could do this, if for nothing else but make him feel better about letting me die. Maybe he could sever my head, so I wouldn’t come back? Movies sometimes use a stake. Could that work?
He nodded.
Scott lifted me and walked into the water while chanting in a language I didn’t understand. “Struogh umhaaw. Talis Nome. Usthra.” His deep voice echoed and thrummed in the acoustic cave turning it into a beautiful instrumental-like sound. I felt another caress of calm wash over me like someone was petting my head.
Chills tickled my neck and prickled down my spine. The air flexed in tension. I kept waiting for electricity to snap like rubber bands on my flesh. Scott lowered my body into the tepid water with the same caring he has always provided since I met him. I forced down a sigh in frustration. It simmered in my throat, waiting.
The familiar creep of guilt settled in my stomach. My shrink told me it’s what one does after trauma. It’s normal to build a rebellious protective wall to ward off any compassion from others. Therefore, I pushed away my family when Dad died, and I needed to ignore the pity in their eyes. What else did people expect a child to do? However, rather than leaving and letting me be, they poked and prodded. My family tried to force me to talk.
When I wouldn’t, they would sneer and scoff. Perhaps, they thought I acted ungrateful, as if I could help being that way. I couldn’t stop the emptiness then, and I can’t eliminate the rising need for numbness now. Back then, I was an ugly warted toad that would be kicked by bullish children in schoolyards if I dared to allow myself help. The ache helped me feel alive. Only by my own successes did I find a medicine, Accomplishment. Here I am again facing both pity and gentleness from a handsome face, and I hated it. I wanted to punch his pretty face. But of course, I wouldn’t. That’d be something an insane person would do.
Where did that leave me? Alone. Broken. Definitely scared. My family became a Schrödinger’s cat of a sort, both alive and dead living in my memories. Though I was confident, my gentle mother didn’t escape her building, and she couldn’t hug a creature away. The shoulda, coulda, woulda’s are pointless. I stopped dreaming of what could be two weeks into hiding in my closet. I survived by a fluke.
I’m still broken. Scott says this is my best bet to heal. I would owe someone something yet again. A warmth grew as I realized a new purpose. Until my last breath, I would find any other survivors, and I would help them find a place where they could heal. If I couldn’t find peace, I would make sure others, less damaged people, discover their tranquility.
The wetness of the water weighed my hospital gown and dressings, adjusting my body at a slight angle deeper in the water. Scott’s voice deepened to a whisper in the lowest dulcet tone I ever heard. The echo reverberated through my soul.
His hands released as the sound ceased.
I remained buoyant on the glass-like water. A sense of peacefulness trickled through my mind. When searing pain splintered through my body, it broke my serenity. I wanted to flinch away, but I couldn’t move. Even my breath stilled. I needed to breathe. If I don’t, I’ll die. I begged my lungs to work, but my diaphragm stayed still. Scott’s voice disappeared.
A bright light blinded me. When my sight returned, a light-blue shimmer approached.
This is it. I’m dead.