Oh, Latin: the language of a universal civilisation, which was our work and our glory. The common language of the learned, until they were distracted by barbarians, who made them think that Latin lacked a little dignity. 

Whoever now says that Latin should not be the language of Europe, or of the whole world, should look at poor Astulfus. He rode for days and nights in search of Madalgarius, or of anyone who could help him. He knew neither Armenian, nor Persian, nor the local Tapurian, nor any other language of the region, and he barely chewed enough Greek to be able to speak to passing merchants. 

Now Astulfus was not scholarly, but he was educated enough to look and feel at home anywhere in the region. He would have looked foreign in appearance, but Persian in spirit. For if there is one thing that culture does, it is to make everyone discover what it is to be human, and humanity, once discovered, is one. No more Roman, Greek, or Persian, only citizen of the world or barbarian. 

Deh! Why am I boring you with my philosophising? You brutes, you just want to see Astulfus suffer; maybe Marfisa, Medulfa and Dragontina doing the... deed together (I don't judge you, I appreciate those scenes too). 

But be honest, many of you are not interested in my philosophizing, and since the only way to teach you brutes is with the stick, we will talk about Marfisa's love affairs later and as punishment return to poor Astulfus and his suffering. 

As I told you, Astulfus had ridden day and night, often calling poor Phazanius a slow and lazy donkey, though he himself had no idea where he was directing the bridle. So it was that he reached the town of Zadracarta in no time at all. Exhausted and seeking rest among the many orange, lemon and other fruit trees that grew on the outskirts of the town, he fell on the ground. 

There was a large army near Zadracarta and, after his experience with the king of Sarmatia, Oliverius, Astulfus was careful not to get closed to it.  

He asked passers-by for news. It was the army of the king of the kings of Persia, along with the allied army of Hyperborea and Alania. Both king had declared war on the kingdom of Kusana, it was said, for Marfisa: the most beautiful woman ever seen under the sun. 

Astulfus, who had seen her, could not say whether she was indeed the most beautiful in the world, though he could understand how four kings could go to war over her. She had amethyst eyes that shone with a light of their own, and hair that seemed to be made of fine, shining gold. She also had a large and elegant bosom that would have been nice to play with, if you know what Astulfus mean (don’t judge him for this, he is young). In short, she is not me, but Marfisa knows how to please the eye. 

Astulfus lay down and looked at his own spear, thinking back to the advice and kind words Marfisa had given him on how to use it. Ah, yes, Marfisa also has inner qualities to mention, I suppose they are important too, but what man would marshal an army for them? 

Astulfus took the fey spear. He clutched it to himself and said, "You are the only one who has ever given me victory, for I cannot do it alone. Why do you not speak? Now that I need you most, do you abandon me like this?" 

"Ouch, ouch, ouch! It's not a good sign when someone talks to himself," I said, leaning forward and shadowing him. 

"...!" 

Astulfus rolled to the side in fright. 

"The green-haired lady!" cried Astulfus. "What are you doing here?" 

I smiled. I think it's adorable how he tries to avoid calling me the green-haired witch. Not that I don't like the nickname, but it's nice to see Astulfus being so civil and humane. 

"I'm just writing a book," I replied, "...I like to document as much as I can personally. And then sometimes stories have a tendency to either derail or stagnate in a boring way. Sometimes you need someone to get them back on track." 

"Ah!" said Astulfus in a slightly wary tone. And to say that I haven't done anything to Astulfus... yet, in fact I even helped him with Aesara. Do I really have all this bad reputation? 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the sweet scent of oranges and lemons in the air. Then I opened them again. I turned back to Astulfus and said: "So, what has brought you to seek refuge in a place of such delicious aromas?" 

Astulfus moved his eyes as if seeking refuge from my gaze, then said in a submissive tone: "I think I need a place to hide and forget." 

Astulfus told me in detail what had happened to him, how he had accompanied Aesara, found Marfisa and lost both to a strange creature that was half woman and half bee. 

"I'm a coward," said Astulfus. 

"Oh, of course..." I replied, "...you should have grabbed your weapon and attacked someone much stronger than you. Someone you didn't want to hurt." 

"Don't mock me," he replied. 

"Why? Didn't that seem like a reasonable choice to you?" I said. 

"I don't know, but for the first time in my life it bothers me not to be strong," said Astulfus. 

"If it bothers you to be weak, become strong," said I, "...and if you can't become strong, become something else. You common mortals know how to make trouble where there is none. Just look for something you're good at and have a passion for. You'll see that you'll find a power you didn't think you had before". 

"You make it easy." 

I stood up and took another breath of air. It was too beautiful a day to let Astulfus stand there sad and disconsolate. There was not much I could do about the sadness, but I could comfort him. 

"Do you know the story of the Sacred Battalion of Thebes? It consisted entirely of about one hundred and fifty pairs of chosen soldiers, trained and bound together by close bonds of affection and consecrated to the god Cupid. Each soldier would have been motivated to fight to the utmost of his ability, both to protect his comrade and to avoid dishonouring the one he loved, for there is no greater incentive than love. 

Plato also said it: we should not choose a woman because she accepts us as we are, because love is the greatest incentive to improve ourselves. And indeed, the Sacred Battalion defeated the mighty Spartans several times". 

"Yes, but in the end they were massacred by the Macedonians." 

"...!" 

"You've forgotten that, haven't you?" 

"Y-yes, but the Macedonians were led by Alexander the Great. That doesn't count!" 

Astulfus laughed and seemed to regain his good humour a little. 

"Anyway, I'm glad you're in a good mood again," I told him. 

"Yes, but couldn't you help me with Marfisa too?" said Astulfus. "I don't know, with those strange things you do?" 

"Is that what you call the things I do?" 

"I mean magic, spells, miracles..." 

"..." 

"...special things?" 

"..." 

I almost put my hands on my hips and sighed. And to say that I don't remember using what mere mortals call magic in public. Unless you consider every strange thing I do to be magic. Do I look strange to you? Do you think what I do weird? Do you think I am weird?  

Anyway, back to Astulfus, it was approaching midday when we parted. I left him with some advice and directions. If he wanted to find Madalgarius, he could find him in nearby Zadracarta. He was hanging around its library, wanting more information about the golden apples I had given him.  

Oh Zadracarta! The yellow city, unfortunately not yellow for its golden apples, but at least for its beautiful lemons, which I had the pleasure of tasting. Its walls were as yellow, orange and red as the fruit that grew around it. Its markets were filled with the aromas of the Orient: colours and smells to make the customers happy. 

To the great surprise of Astulfus, this Persian city had a humid climate more akin to that of the Mediterranean. The houses, however, retained a typical Persian style: flat-roofed, gardens abounded and public buildings had their walls decorated with intricate and colourful geometric designs. 
Not surprisingly, it was chosen as the capital of Hyrcania. 

Astulfus just had to figure out where to find the library, especially considering that without someone who knew Latin, he could only communicate in Greek. Yeah, in hindsight I should have come with him and acted as his interpreter, but sooner or later luck smiles on everyone. One just has to hope it smiles at the opportune time. 

"Astulfus Axius Syrianus!" said a voice, which immediately drew Astulfus' attention. 

He looked around for which of those present might be the one who knew his name. 

"Closer. Lower," said the voice. 

What she saw was a brown-skinned catizus with short hair and light brown eyes. He had two small pointed ears, adorned with two silver earrings on the left side, and wore a typical Roman outfit: long brown trousers, a white and brown dress lined with white fur, and a Pannonian hat: white, cylindrical, flat-topped and, in his case, decorated with a ball of white fur on top. 

"You are...?" said Astulfus. 

"Savius Salvius Otho, court interpreter at the imperial palaces in Rome..." said Savius, "...and in this case ambassador to Persia to keep an eye on military developments in the East. I don't know if you've heard, but it seems that suddenly four kings want to marry our emperor's daughter." 

Astulfus wondered how much he knew about Marfisa and Madalgarius, but the last time he had spoken about Marfisa's love troubles they had simply escalated, so the conversation moved on to something else. 

"Forgive me, but I don't remember ever meeting you," said Astulfus. 

"Ah, that’s explained by the fact we have never actually spoken. I have seen you in the arena and in the imperial palaces. You are not a person to be easily forgotten." 

"Yes, I do lose a lot," said Astulfus with a smile and not with too much regret. You may have figured out by now that Astulfus did not go to the arena to win. 

"Ah, I was referring to your appearance. It's not easy to forget: porcupine hair, long black braid, all too feminine appearance..." 

"Yes, actually I am sometimes mistaken for a woman," said Astulfus with a laugh. 

"In fact, I don't even understand why. That is, I mean, catizian women have narrower hips and flatter breasts than human women, but I can still tell right away that you are a male." 

"What can I say, we humans are strange..." said Astulfus, "...would you like me to invite you to dinner? I'm looking for a place and a person in the city. Perhaps you can show me the way." 

Remember when I said that a civil and humane man like Astulfus would be at home anywhere? Well, guess what is served in the restaurants of Zadracarta? You guessed it, the famous Parthian chicken. 

A nice chicken cooked in oil and served with a good sauce made of wine, long pepper, cumin, asafoetida, lovage and garum. Leave it to the ignorant rabble to say that everything from Persia is evil. We cultured people know that is not true. It is people like us who appreciate good food and never leave our copy of Marcus Gavius Apicius' De re coquinaria out of the kitchen. In Zadracarta they season it slightly differently, they don't use cumin, but I assure you it was delicious when I ate there. 

And Astulfus and Savius found it delicious too, as they discussed the latest events in the east: the war between Persia, Kusana and Alania, and the arrival of an army from Sarmatia, all for the beautiful Marfisa (and perhaps a little bit for trade with the east. You know. For those brutes that only do war for economical matters. It seems that soldiers doesn’t fight for free). 

No matter what the kings say, the rabble must be given more worldly reasons to go to war. Ah, these are not the good days of the Trojan War, when a thousand ships went to sea for the beautiful Helen (and perhaps for trade with the Pontus Euxinus). 

"I think I know where the Madalgarius you seek is. There's a man in Roman dress here in Zadracarta who I don't think is a merchant. I don't know if he's trying to conquer the beautiful Marfisa, but he was looking for something in the town library and seems to have caught Pandracon's interest" said Savius. 

"I know that he will soon be in the library with the king of kings of Persia, the king of Hyrcania, and the king of Hyperborea and Alania. If you wish, I can accompany you." 

You should have seen how happy Astulfus was that day. His eyes were shining and it was a wonder he could sit still. But his enthusiasm faded when he reached the library. 

Apparently, when three rulers gather in one place, they don't tend to let strangers in, even if they're accompanied by their official interpreter. Astulfus had to wait outside. 

Now, any reasonable person would have waited for these kings to finish what they had to do, and then waited for Madalgarius at the entrance. But we know how Astulfus is made. Go figure if he didn't look for a way in. 

It's not that he's stupid, in fact he's a lot smarter than I make him out to be. It's just that he tends to put a bit too much enthusiasm into things, especially when it comes to doing good deeds. 

He was planning to tie a rope to his fey spear and throw it through a window. But then it occurred to him that it might not be a good idea to enter armed a building with three kings. So he left the spear at the inn and looked for another way. 

Astulfus glanced at the window ledge and grabbed it with both hands. Courage, Astulfus, courage! And here he finally rolled in. Now all he has to do is find Madalgarius.  

He composed himself and moved carefully between the bookshelves. It wasn't a particularly large library, at least by Roman standards, but for a small town like Zadracarta it was well worth the name. 
Astulfus pushed the books aside slightly and began to look through them.  

There was a round table, but the participants were not evenly distributed: on one side was the King of Kings of Persia, and on the other the King of Hyperborea and Alania, slightly at a distance, lest he remember that they were two separate kings and not each other's right arm. 

I don't have to tell you anything about Pandracon, you probably remember him, but you don't know anything about the other king, Zamasphes. 

He was younger than Pandracon. He had light eyes, dark hair and olive skin. He seemed vain in appearance, with his gold necklace and bracelets on his wrists, but because of his young age he could be very insecure. 

To Zamasphes' right was Lycomans, his assistant and advisor, seated in a chair less ornate than that of the King of Kings. In the middle was Savius, translating, while on the other side was Madalgarius. He was exactly as Astulfus remembered him: copper-coloured hair gathered in a ponytail and green-brown eyes; a feline appearance and a red dress and cloak, accompanied by a black Pannonian hat. Madalgarius gave a quick glance, and for a moment Astulfus thought he had been seen. 

He couldn't understand all of what they were saying, as the conversation seemed to have ended. They were chatting about this and that, expanding on topics that had apparently dropped in casually during the previous conversations. 

It was Pandracon that was talking at the moment (and very happy to do it). He spoke in Latin, in fact he and Madalgarius seemed to be the only ones doing so. Zamasphes confined himself to Persian, though he occasionally spoke to Madalgarius in Greek, with an accent that betrayed his Persian origins. Lycomans, on the other hand, spoke perfect Greek. His Persian was completely different from that of Zamasphes and Savius. Now that Astulfus thought about it, catizi didn't originate from Persia, nor did they live there in large numbers. Savius spoke fluently Latin, Greek and Persian.  

"East of the Alani Mountains lies a vast plain, as flat and smooth as the famous Roman roads," began Pandracon. "It is crisscrossed by numerous rivers, lakes and marshes, and when winter comes, most of the water is frozen over until spring. Further north, however, where the rivers flow down and the ice melts in the summer, ice dams form, turning almost the whole of this plain into a vast swamp. 

The Alani have learnt to live together and enjoy the fruits of the swamp, but there are other creatures who have learnt to live there as well. They shape the ice into beautiful palaces that do not melt with the arrival of summer, and into canals that keep the water away from the houses. 

They are not afraid of the water, however, because the cold does not touch their bodies and they do not need air to breathe, or they know how to hold their breath for a very long time. 

They fear humans, however, and keep them at bay with powerful spells that obscure their cities. They say that unlucky ones who trespass on their territory die by drowning, though I don't know how people can know it, since the dead don't talk. But sometimes someone drowns in these marshes. However, the people who survive these encounters speak of beings whose legs are covered with fins and scales, and the head with long, thin tentacles. But, they are not scary they say. They are so beautiful in appearance that they can be defined as nymphs.  

I could not tell you the origins or intentions of the creatures, but there are tribes among the Alans who have good relations with them, though reports are sometimes contradictory. 

I call them an Alan tribe, but their language is nothing like anything I've heard. They don't like to mix with other humans, and humans don't mix with them. It was with great patience that they tolerated my visit. 

They are strange in appearance. The young are beautiful, but when they reach a certain age they seem to rot like fish in the sun, so much so that it is said that they often mate with the inhabitants of the deep. These deep ones do not have the graceful appearance of the nymphs of the ice palaces, but rather they look like fishes or frogs that have somehow learned to walk on two legs. 

Despite the hostility of the inhabitants, I gained valuable information about the strange creatures that inhabit our world. But I did not stay overnight to listen to their sacred songs, which resemble the croaking of frogs and which frightened me even from a distance. 

When I made my way to Rome and stopped at the capital of the Cimmerian Bosphorus Kingdom, Panticapaeum, I actually met two nymphs. Perhaps they were attracted by my talk of the strange things I had gathered information about. 

Although they had come with bad intentions, attracted by my excessive knowledge, we became friends. 

One of them was like the nymphs of the land of the Alans. She beautiful and with long black tentacles as hair. The other was a woman who shared part of her appearance with that of the bees. Though very different, both were nymphs and said to be not related to the deep ones with which this mysterious tribe of Alans mated. 

The first, however, told me that some time ago some nymphs mated with the creatures of the deep and the worms of the earth, thus gaining the looks they have now. 

The other told me that her ancestors had instead mated with some fungi, I can't remember where, and that this is why their appearance is partly insect-like. They both gained the human part of their form from the union with apes. 

Don't ask me what this story about worms and fungi means. It seemed to me that they were speaking literally, perhaps it's because I don't have the education you southerners have to understand this kind of language. But the second nymph told me that some time ago fungi came down from heaven to conquer the earth. They failed, I suppose, but some of the fauna of their world remained, and the nymphs mated with it. 

I can't tell you why, but the nymphs mated with apes, I think to get a stable upright posture. Then with creatures from other worlds for purposes I can't tell you." 

So Pandracon ended this weird story, leaving Astulfus confused, who understood little of it. Zamasphes, on the other hand, seemed to have a better grasp of the conversation and looked more interested.  

"I think you are right in saying that it is perhaps your lack of knowledge of the subject that has confused you..." said Zamasphes, "...in that these are actually subjects that interest mainly Aristotelians or those interested in botany and zoology. 

People think that sirens are just cursed humans who became half-birds, or birds who somehow became humans. But those who study the bones of various creatures know that sirens have much more in common with cercopes, which are related to monkeys. 

Sometimes creatures change over time, but it is quite common for the uneducated to believe that strange features are due to relationships, as is said to have happened to the famous Minotaur of Crete. Probably these two girls have told you some legend of their people, which should be given little credit. What you call nymphs are nothing more than one of the many species that inhabit this world as humans, catizi, sirens, cercopes and cynocephali; but what do you think?" 

Zamasphes, Pandracon and Lycomans turned to Madalgarius as Savius translated the words of the King of Kings of Persia. 

"If I am to give you my honest opinion, one should always choose the most probable answer based on the knowledge available..." replied Madalgarius, "...but in this case it must be admitted that we know little about the creatures we call nymphs, if not the artefacts they leave behind, rumours and legends. We know that kingdoms exist, but we cannot enter them with means that they have and that we do not understand." 

Thus said Madalgarius, ending the conversation. Those present said their goodbyes and left the room, except for Madalgarius, who turned his head towards the bookcase and looked at Astulfus with feline eyes that did not seem human.